So Close I Can Taste It

Grad school was one of the top 5 hardest things I’ve ever done in my entire life.  Perhaps because of my age and situation in life, I was more fully invested and driven to squeeze every last drop out of the experience as I possibly could muster.  Of course, life continued to happen at home, so the potential…no the actualization of growth was greater than I could have ever imagined.  After 4 months, I look back and am truly gobsmacked.  There’s really no other word to describe this process of becoming.  I am a different person than I was before. A stronger, more capable, more hopeful and (frighteningly) even more driven person than I was before.  All the places that were laid bare during exercises we were required to do for classes, they’re becoming strong like bones that have knit together after a fracture.

After graduation, it seemed like the bottom fell out for a while.  I got very sick, was on bed rest for two months, and lost momentum. That post-grad let down hit hard while I was most vulnerable, and I could barely even muster the courage to apply for jobs. At one point, I applied for every agency I could find with openings.  Not even a ‘sorry, but we’ve gone another direction’ message would be sent my direction.  A choice had to be made.  Do I give up and find something else that just barely pays the bills? Or do I risk big and put myself out there and start a private practice?  It’s something I was going to do eventually, so I compromised a little and decided to do both.  I got a job that will take care of the bills while I’m building my practice.  The possibilities are endless.  So many directions I could go, and success is right there…right at the edge of my finger tips.  All of this, all of these crazy, twisted roads in my life, and they all lead right here.  To the biggest, juiciest steak of a dream.  Tonight I pray for discernment, and for God to make abundantly clear which path He wants me to take.

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